Minnesota Star Power 2021
Captains
Jess Haller Eats mac 'n' cheese with: 🥄 "I once was in a prank war and it ended with the other person placing pictures of me all over campus, the sign read 'Wanted for stealing a farmer's chickens, reward for information involves 1lb of laffy taffy.' I frequently kept my hood up walking through campus so no one would recognize me." "My least favorite food is donuts. I waste of calories." |
Erin "Francis" Moravec Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Forks for days, playa "I once made a human pyramid with Lance Bass. For those of you who are too young to know who Lance is, Google it." Teammate you most-admire: Kensgaard's moustache. He's so bold. "Don't get an attitude, get gratitude. Don't be hateful, be grateful!" |
The Squad
Alex Kensgaard
Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Fork (by individually placing a noodle on each prong.)
"When I was younger my older brother and I played this game where I would be a giant smart ass and he would drag me through a soybean field in Iowa. That game sucked." Audra Bialik Eats mac 'n' cheese with: I do not know what that is. Next question.
"I think the upper peninsula of Michigan is better than the oven mitt and I don't care who knows." Cole Jensen Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Fork
Teammate you look up to: Brad or Bo, they're the tallest Secret talent: river floating Gracie Carlson Eats mac 'n' cheese with: chopsticks
"I got peed on by a chicken trying to hypnotize it" "One time I almost got arrested for scootering down a giant spiral ramp in a parking garage at 1am" Jake Raatz Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Luge
"I once was attacked by a dog while duct taped to a 2x4" Secret talent: Selling affordable outdoor clothing to middle aged women Jess Halverson Eats mac 'n' cheese with: a rusty spoon I found in the alley behind my apartment
"I TP'd Sven's house on a dare and then blamed it on Ruda and Sven totally bought it" This picture captures the first time Jess has ever worn shorts. Joey Tillman Eats mac 'n' cheese: blended and consumed like a milkshake
Extremely photogenic Greatest achievement: winning Hallowinona while wearing $4 scrubs Kelsey Percy Eats mac 'n' cheese with: corporeal force
Might be a ghost Marin Ryan Eats mac 'n' cheese with: a fork plain and simple. If I’m feeling silly I thread the noodles on the tines
"I was working as a server and somebody came into the restaurant w a pet raccoon and somehow I ended up holding it." Matt "Pony" Caballero Eats mac 'n' cheese with: funnel
"Wifi-enabled appliances make me nervous - they're trying to put 5G right into my oatmeal' Teamate you look up to: Almost everyone, literally Megan "Mo" Asturias Eats mac 'n' cheese with: fork
"I got stuck in Versailles, Ohio after the Poultry Days tournament because my teammate threw our car keys in the pond and screamed 'I never want to leave!!!'" Secret talent: DAVE! Ming Cheng Chew
Eats mac 'n' cheese with: spoon with a bowl
"I head-butted a goat when i was 2 because it was bothering my sister." "Mu dancing skills increase with the number of drinks I've had." Sierra Barthen Eats mac 'n' cheese with: industrial crane
"Not many people know this about me but I'm a retired professional submarine co-pilot. It's a pretty boring job since the actual pilot does all the work." Stephie Pieper Eats mac 'n' cheese with: melon baller
Once went a full week eating nothing but pre-ripe bananas and grapefruit-flavored carbonated water. Tracie "Porch Cat" Anderson Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Spoooooooon
"Fuck testicle toss. That game sucks. Also, respect mother nature, cause she rules this world and she won't care how much money you have or how many friends you got. She can whip up a tornado wherever she wants! Killer bees? You bet." Tyler Mahony Eats mac 'n' cheese with: whatever's handy
"I was raised by nuns who taught me how to play basketball. Also my real name is Tom Hobday." Teammate you admire: A few years ago I would have said Tyler Mahony. He was so athletic and motivated and healthy. Now he’s always hurt and can’t jump though, so I don’t know. Maybe Mo? |
Alex Kraft
Eats mac 'n' cheese with: garden shovel
"Sardines belong in the trash. Also if anyone disrespects the Instant Pot, they can catch these Instant Hands" Brad Malmsten
Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Fork
"My least favorite kitchen appliance is the insta pot. Because I haven’t learned how to use it properly, it’s just an overqualified rice cooker." Eva Maxson Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Mouth
"I have two toes that are fused together, mostly" Secret talents: macrame and rollerblading Isaac Leonard Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Fork?
Secret talent: dog chasing "If you’re thirsty drink water”- David Sherly - Michael Scott Jedi Casas Eats mac 'n' cheese with: my feet
"I actually sleep and live under Tom Hobday's bed. Please don't put that on the website; I'm not convinced he actually knows." Joe "Big Daddy" Moravec Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Spoon
"I can balance $10 of quarters on my right elbow then catch them all with my right hand in one swift motion." Teammate you admire: Erin, she's my wife Kajsa Beatty
Eats mac 'n' cheese: on toast
Least favorite kitchen appliance: spiralizer Secret talent: correctly guessing the weight of things Kelsey Peterson Eats mac 'n' cheese with: fork
Designated team decorator for celebrations "I don’t eat the pods of sugar snap peas" Marty Stecker Eats mac 'n' cheese: I force my wife to feed them to me one at a time while laying spread eagle on the kitchen floor
I frequently make flower crowns and give them to my favorite teammated. Mattie Melin Eats mac 'n' cheese with: fork
"I used to perform Improv at my all girls convent highschool and the nuns would watch and let us know if was getting to risqué." "I like raise butterflies and sing (preferably at the same time)" Michelle Christy
Eats mac 'n' cheese with: I really like stealing a singular crunchy noodle on the outside when no one is looking. Because of timing I usually use my hands.
"I was so obsessed with the movie labyrinth (starring David Bowie) when I was 12 that I taught myself to contact juggle." Rachel "Bo" Thompson Eats mac 'n' cheese with: spork
Hates: Mayonnaise. Just the worst condiment. Secret talent: Working on my tan, being an ole sun baby. Steven "Sven" Anderson Eats mac 'n' cheese with: Utensils are for the weak. Stuffing your face into the bowl is the most efficient table to body transport.
"I usually just translate ancient hebrew texts in my spare time. Also one time I peed my pants in gym class...but junior year is hard for everyone I guess" Tom Hobday Eats mac 'n' cheese with: spoon, but in a pinch will drink it out of a cup
"I was low-key raised by nuns. Also I have a stick and poke tattoo of a pear, my friends were supposed to get matching fruits but they ALL chickened out" Teammate you most-admire: Jedi, he is my soulmate Tristan Grovender Eats mac 'n' cheese: I force Joe to baby bird individual noodles to me.
Doesn't believe in bees. Prove that they exist! You can't. The MSP jersey order got messed up and now I own two shirts with sleeves and it's giving me an existential crisis. Who even invented sleeves? What a waste of fabric. |